1. Rather than read the riot act, we would rather just say we appreciate, in advance, our visitors respect and care for the apartment. Thank you for treating it as you would your own home. If you have a messy, beat-up home, then please treat it much better than you would your own home.
2. While we encourage you to have an amazing time at the apartment, we do ask you to keep noise to a considerate level after 10pm to respect our neighbours. So – no wild polka music at midnight please.
3. Please make sure the apartment is secured at all times. If you go out, please lock all windows and doors.
4. No pets are allowed, with the exception of Capybaras and Stick Insects on the proviso they are house trained.
5. Smoking is not allowed. Inside or on the balcony. The end.
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